"Unless I see the holes that the nails made in his hands and can put my finger into the holes they made, and unless I can put my hand into his side, I refuse to believe." (John 20:25)
Our lectionary’s translation of this verse from the Gospel of the second Sunday of Easter removes an ambiguity. The literal meaning of St Thomas final words is not "I refuse to believe" but "I will not believe".
It could be that he was defiant at this moment, as the lectionary suggests, but he could also have been despairing.
