I was at a dinner party recently when a bright, capable and ambitious friend leaned in to share news that she’s in the running for what she called her ‘dream job’. But almost as soon as she said it, she qualified the statement by telling me: ‘but it’s through my dad’.
What struck me wasn’t the fact that her father (a successful businessman) made an introduction and opened a door for her, but her apologetic embarrassment at the fact.
This discomfort is increasingly common. We live in a culture that prizes meritocracy so highly that any hint of ‘nepotism’ feels like a moral stain. We are told, implicitly and explicitly, that to be worthy we must be entirely self-made. This obsession with ‘earning your place’ means many people feel embarrassed to admit when family help them through a job connection, financial support or a step on to the property ladder. But what if so-called ‘nepotism’ is not a moral failure, but a reflection of healthy and good community ties and our deepest obligations to one another?
