By some sort of miracle Kraków, which was Poland’s capital city in the Middle Ages, is immaculately preserved. The Nazis’ tanks and bombs ignored it, as did the Allies, for reasons I will touch on. But what an extraordinary place it is.

I did not see any of the semi-naked Englishmen dressed only in mankinis (joke one-piece swimsuits) who were reported to be “terrorising” the city around the time of our visit. That was on the front page of one of Poland’s bestselling newspapers (thanks to Daniel Tilles on Twitter for the tipoff).