The BBC is simply too polite to do a talent show. The X Factor, which remains the best, is cheerfully chavvy and rude. Girls in tight dresses singing Under My Umbrella like a cat trapped in a tumble drier. “You’ve got no talent, darlin’ – sling yer ’ook!” Fun.
Let It Shine (Saturdays, 7pm) brings almost the same premise to BBC One and it sinks like a stone. Gary Barlow is looking for five boys to recreate Take That in a stage musical. Because that’s what the world needs right now. The audition phase, which is traditionally a chance to be mercilessly cruel, has all the savagery of an Oxbridge interview. It’s too polished, obviously scripted. One audition hopeful sings from a grand piano – are we supposed to think that he brought it with him? Perhaps he dragged it across London on the Piccadilly Line. He gets through the easy first round, along with almost everyone else.
