Back in 1996, when the police investigated real crimes instead of spending 60,000 hours a year scrolling X for “non-crime hate incidents”, Noel Gallagher bragged to Melody Maker about how he and other Oasis band members used to burgle houses and steal cars before they became famous.
Unimpressed, Det. Chief Supt. David James of Greater Manchester CID immediately promised that “the police will endeavour to validate the truth”, leaving Oasis’s record company scrambling to explain that Gallagher’s comments “were tongue in cheek”. Police inquiries came to nothing, but at least the law-abiding families of Manchester rested assured that Gallagher’s indiscretion had been taken seriously and that not even a trendy musician is above the law.
