“We were an ordinary Catholic family, at Mass every Sunday without fail. It was a sadness when my son and daughter-in-law lapsed completely. I was initially delighted when they returned to the faith. Having become charismatic Catholics, however, I feel that they are now judging me because I don’t attend prayer and Bible study groups or talk readily about my faith. Are they right to do so? I am confused.”

It is a source of joy that your son and daughter-in-law have returned to the practice of the faith. As you say, however, it is confusing that this has become a source of division between you.

No, they are not right to judge you. They may not actually be doing so, even if this is the impression which they give. Converts and “reverts” can exhibit an enthusiasm which is commendable, even if a little jarring on others. Pray for them, keep the channels of communication open and gently explain to them how you are made to feel.

Many people do not realise that there are “charismatic Catholics”, assuming that the only charismatics are Protestants or non-denominational Christians. Yet Catholicism is, by definition, a broad Church capable of embracing many styles of worship, provided that the doctrinal and liturgical norms of the Church are respected.

There are things which “ordinary” Catholics can learn from charismatics and Evangelicals. Most enjoy a personal relationship with Our Lord and display an admirable willingness to speak of this to others, furthering the cause of evangelisation, which is a duty laid on all the baptised. Again, their knowledge of Scripture and their prayer life is commendable. In most cases, this is lived out admirably in their moral lives. All of us should open ourselves to a full outpouring of the gifts of the Holy Spirit and to His inspirations.

Nevertheless, “ordinary” Catholics should not be made to feel inadequate by charismatics and Evangelicals. Always it is a question of “and / and” in matters of faith, not “either / or”. Faith must encompass the Church in all its fullness, the Pope and the hierarchy, the liturgy and the sacraments, Our Lady and the saints, not just those elements which charismatics and Evangelicals, or the church they currently attend, may choose to emphasise. “Ordinary” Catholics know and live this, even if they do not always articulate it.

A wise Benedictine nun insisted that we are saved by faith, not feeling. “Ordinary” Catholics could sometimes be advised to show a little more joy in their faith, but Evangelical effervescence and speaking in tongues are not prerequisites of salvation. Human romance is not a bad analogy. It would be a little strange if there were no initial infatuation and overpowering attraction, but a successful marriage requires a much deeper level of love than this. It is about fidelity in the mundane, everyday circumstances of life: raising the children, keeping a home, earning a living. Long-term faith is similar. Without being simply routine, it is about commitment to Sunday Mass, daily prayer and keeping the Commandments – generally without fanfare or flourish.

So, there is absolutely no reason to consider yourself inferior to your son and daughter-in-law in terms of your holding and practice of the faith. Once they have settled in their rediscovered faith, you might see what opportunities for cross-fertilisation exist. To show goodwill, you might offer to attend prayer and Bible study groups with them. You might be pleasantly surprised. All of us can benefit from deepening our lives of prayer and expanding our knowledge of Scripture. Lectio divina, the prayerful reading of Scripture, is, after all, an ancient Catholic tradition.

You have much to offer them. Remind them, if necessary, of the centrality of the Lord’s Eucharistic presence in the Mass. Talk to them about Mary’s maternal concern for all Christians, the communion of the saints and their intercessory prayer, the teaching of the Church Fathers and the Magisterium. Introduce them to traditional Catholic devotions, such as the rosary, opening up to them the authentic spirituality which underlies this. Speak to them of the practical pastoral work which is undertaken in most Catholic parishes through groups such as the Society of St Vincent de Paul.

A generation or so ago, a certain suspicion existed between charismatic Catholics on the one hand and “ordinary” or more traditional Catholics on the other. Faced with indifference or an aggressively secular world, a younger generation of Catholics has moved beyond this. “Tradismatic” Catholicism is a category which has emerged in the Church in recent years. These, mainly younger, Catholics are equally happy attending both more charismatic worship and the Traditional Latin Mass. They can wear mantillas, receive Holy Communion kneeling on the tongue and give a hearty rendition of praise and worship music.

Provided they find both a personal relationship with the Lord and a commitment to the Church’s doctrinal teaching lived out in the lives of believers, they are willing to cross boundaries which previous generations found more challenging. They also provide an attractive example to Evangelicals and others who might not otherwise have thought they shared anything in common with the Catholic Church. This can only be a good thing.