The first rule of the Catholic Parent Club is DO NOT SIT AT THE FRONT. Brendan seemed to have forgotten this as he confidently strode up towards the altar with our hyperactive toddler in his arms, and I slunk behind carrying the baby, as everyone watched us. We weren’t particularly late for Mass: five minutes or so, pretty good going by our standards. “Brendan, what are you thinking!” I hissed as he settled into a pew right under the priest’s nose. “What?” he said. “This is Ireland: it’s always empty at the front.”