In January I began to feel a premonition that something dangerous was spreading. Now, a week before Easter, my worst fears have been confirmed. We are now facing a highly serious outbreak, for which there appears to be no cure. Ever since “Veganuary”, we have seen more and more cases of veganism in the UK and beyond. Before this, I naively regarded vegans as gentle, harmless creatures quietly going about their everyday lives, virtuously filling their baskets with tinned pulses and other forms of dietary self-flagellation. But when they’re faced with a world pandemic, good grief, it appears they show no mercy. I say this as a mother of a two-year-old boy who has an egg and dairy allergy. You might call him an “involuntary vegan” apart from his weakness for sausages and fish fingers. But ever since lockdown was announced, can I get hold of soya yoghurts to ensure he is provided with some source of daily calcium? No. Have I managed to purchase some dairy-free chocolate eggs to execute an Easter Egg Hunt for Sunday? No. Oat Milk, anyone? Forget it! Even some mediocre-looking vegan chocolate bunnies which I added to my online shop never arrived and were most likely snaffled by a bloodthirsty vegan. I will never again, underestimate these people.