I almost jumped out of my skin on Saturday morning. I had arrived at the hairdressers’ early and nipped to the loo before my appointment. I was leaving the cubicle when out of nowhere bounced a dog, which dutifully sniffed my feet before skipping off. I felt like yelling: “Is this a park or a salon?” Seriously, though, has the nation gone barking mad? Dogs have been elevated to the status of babies who cannot be left at home unsupervised. Establishments proudly bear messages across their windows: “Muddy paws welcome here!” Almost every pub and restaurant is dotted with dogs. I even walked into an estate agents’ recently and a dog came running to the door to greet me. For some reason a staff member just had to bring him to work. I wouldn’t mind, but some of us aren’t dog lovers and I’m growing weary of having to socialise with them. As the lovely Fay brushed through my freshly washed hair, the barber’s dog let out a huge yelp, which made everyone jump. “Can you not excite the dog when I’m about to use scissors?” she pleaded. But the barber wasn’t listening. He was too busy talking to his dog.