The wearing of beards by clergy is a topic historically fraught with contradiction. But before we explore those contradictions, I owe you the truth: personally, I do not care for beards – on priests or anyone else.

This has nothing to do with my mustachioed brother, father and grandfather, all of whom I loved dearly. Nor has it anything to do with historical figures – the gloriously bearded Franz Josef of Austria-Hungary, the Comte de Chambord of France and Edward VII of Britain are proof of that, as was my childhood comfort at the sight of the similarly hirsute Smith Brothers on their cough-drops box. Even the Founder and Invisible Head of my religion was always depicted with a beard. It is simply that my childhood sensibilities were formed in the Mad Men era, and beards were symbolic of the hippie revolt that overshadowed my childhood and youth. All of which is to say, it is a matter of mere taste, not eternal truth.