The weather is on the side of the Church. At a time when pagans and secularists are following the unchristian practices of Dry January (no drink) and Veganuary (no meat or dairy), the weather — at least in Britain and Ireland — has turned horrid. Indeed, we are only just over the worst of an actual storm, Goretti (an unusual meteorological intervention on the part of St Maria Goretti). The point is this: the weather is so miserable that it is more apparent than ever that abstinence and self-denial are grotesquely at odds with the actual condition of the month. The weather is telling us one thing: down with Dry January.