A friend is trying to decide whether he would prefer to retire to a small town or continue living in a big city, and I have been asked to proffer my advice. Life in small towns can be gentle and humane, in my experience. There is a palpable sense of community. People look out for one another. Churchgoers often stop and chat after Mass and get to know the faces that they see so regularly. Local shops and retailers are supported. The traders are known and appreciated, and they usually offer backing to local endeavours, such as music festivals, regattas or sporting events. If small towns are sometimes gossipy, they can also be understanding of the failings and foibles of people in the community. Eccentricities may be noticed and registered, but they are usually tolerated. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is often practised. Small-town life can make people are aware of the value of reciprocity. The generational changes of family life are closely observed, as babies appear, grow up into school pupils and blossom into young adults. At the other end of the spectrum, neighbours grow older, sometimes frailer, and then move towards life’s departure lounge. This close observation of the life cycle imparts a form of compassion, I believe. And crime is rare. Yes, there is what I’ve heard call “the Ambridge element”: the gossip about who’s doing what. This is usually petty rather than vicious. The English, in particular, are also tactful: they are neighbourly without being intrusive. Life in the big city remains more exciting. The cultural fare is stunning. You have more choice in everything – from friends to church locations. Transport is better. There’s a buzz about street life. There’s more diversity. And if you want to be anonymous, you can be. Given the choice, the activist who seeks excitement and stimulation will prefer the city. But the philosopher who seeks to contemplate life, or the novelist who strives to describe it, may more readily find it in a small town. ........ When will the Government start legislating for what citizens are thinking? Any time now, it seems, “thought crime” will go on the statute books. First, there are proposals to ban the procedure known as “conversion therapy”. This has nothing to do with religious conversion, but with sexual orientation. Men and women who feel that they might be homosexual in orientation have submitted to (or been persuaded into) “conversion therapy” to try to reorientate themselves into being heterosexual. Most psychiatrists and other mainstream counsellors are against this (although there was a time when psychiatrists offered it), and it is not recommended by other experts. However, some individuals who have chosen it say they have benefited: should they be made to feel criminals or law-breakers for doing so? Just as some governments, for example in Australia, seek to interfere with the seal of the confessional, so they also try to regulate every interchange between an individual and their therapist. Misogyny, too, could now be categorised as a “hate crime”. And the police may be given powers to arrest a man who wolf-whistles at a woman. The word “Orwellian” is overused, but some of these trends come close to mirroring the thought-controlling world of Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four. Orwell had in mind some form of super-authoritarian government built on the communist model. But all this is coming from a purportedly Conservative administration. Misogyny may be deplored without being classed as a crime. Sexual “conversion therapy” may be criticised as undesirable – possibly, in some cases, harmful – without being made a felony. A wolf whistle is not, surely, a hanging offence … ........ Pope Francis’s events in Ireland next month are now fully booked, but there has been a mean-spirited campaign by his opponents to reserve places, and then deliberately leave them vacant. The campaign “Say Nope to the Pope” hopes to present Francis with empty rows as a deliberate ploy of protest. One campaigner said he had obtained 692 tickets for the papal Mass at Phoenix Park, but will use none of them. Ireland’s reputation for giving a warm welcome to visitors would certainly take a hit if the “Say Nope to the Pope” lobby sabotages Francis’s visit. Follow Mary Kenny on Twitter: @MaryKenny4