A German priest in his 60’s has announced he is leaving the priesthood in order to marry a woman he has conducted a secret relationship with for many years.  

Taking his parishioners by surprise on August 22, Fr Andreas Unfried published a letter in which he announced his imminent departure from not just the parish of St. Ursula, Oberursel, and Steinbach but also from the clerical state.  

Unfried’s letter stated clearly that he had been in a relationship with a woman for many years, and it was in order to live with her that he was abandoning his ministry.  

“The reason is that I am getting married,” he wrote. “For many years, I have been secretly in a relationship with the love of my life. Now I feel that the time has come to follow this second calling. I am fully aware that this will result in my suspension from the priestly ministry.”  

The priest acknowledged the Catholic Church’s teaching on priestly celibacy, stating that he had “tried my best to live by this” but did not “truly possess this charism within me.”

He reminisced happily about his nearly four decades of priesthood, but added that he would not have “been able to persevere through these 37 years if I hadn’t been able to count on the support of my life partner” – the woman he intends to marry.  

Citing the impending end of both of their working lives as a reason for taking such a move, Unfried said that the unnamed woman “has waited a long time for me. I am very grateful for that. Now it is enough.”

“It is time to rebalance my priorities,” he declared.

No clear indication was given as to how long Unfried has conducted a secret relationship with the woman, but the language of his letter suggested that it had been a significant part of his priestly life.

Aged 63, Unfried is a priest of the Diocese of Limburg which has been led by Bishop Georg Bätzing since 2016. Bätzing was formerly chairman of the German bishops’ conference from 2020 to 2026, and became known for his championing of progressive and heterodox views, especially via the Synodal Way.  

The diocese has not as yet issued any public response to Unfried’s declaration.

It is also unclear whether Unfried intends to seek dismissal from the clerical state or if he plans to attempt marriage without any such canonical intervention. Canon Law notes that “those in sacred orders invalidly attempt marriage.” Should he petition the Church to be laicised, he would also have to request a dispensation from his vow of celibacy.  

Nor is it certain that any such request would be granted. A 1971 document from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith on the precise topic notes that “not all reasons presented are to be judged sufficient or valid for obtaining the favour sought.”

Among the reasons deemed by the Vatican as being insufficient for reducing a priest to the lay state and dispensing from the vow of celibacy were: “a) the mere wish to marry; b) contempt for the law of sacred celibacy; c) attempted civil marriage, or a date set for celebrating the marriage in the hope of obtaining the dispensation more easily.”

The Holy See further reiterated that “a marriage that may have been celebrated without a dispensation granted by the Apostolic See itself lacks all validity.”

Unfried admitted that he was aware of the “disappointments” his decision would cause. He expressed his hope that it would “eventually be accepted, even though I know that it is currently making life difficult for many.”

He also argued for “a spirit of participation and gender equality in my church”, indicating an alignment with the Synodal Way’s own calls for increased roles for women as deacons or even priests.

“Love calls me back to the woman with whom I have long shared my life,” he closed. “Together, we will seek ways to live out our Christian faith and our calling as a couple from now on.”

Germany’s ecclesial sphere has been marked by a seismic recent decline in numbers practicing Catholicism, as Church teaching is also increasingly questioned and ignored. The Catholic Herald recently reported that only 1.3 million of Germany’s 19 million Catholics attend weekly Mass.

Baptisms are also on the decline, while funerals are almost double the number of Baptisms.  

As for those actively leaving the Church, over 1.5 million people registered as having rejected the faith from 2022 to 2025 inclusive.  

Discussions about the implementation of the Synodal Way, and some of its more controversial demands, are ongoing between the German bishops’ conference and the Holy See.

Michael Haynes is an English journalist in the Holy See Press Corps. He serves as Vatican Correspondent for the Catholic Herald, while readers can follow him at Per Mariam and on X @MLJHaynes.