There is a phrase I have always disliked, which is often found in obituaries or profiles of prominent people: “he didn’t/doesn’t suffer fools gladly”. Sometimes, I am sure, it is used to convey the idea that an individual is or was impatient with humbug, excuses or persistent incompetence, which can be a useful and admirable characteristic. However, it also seems to be used euphemistically, to describe somebody who is simply rude, dismissive or irritable.
Irritability is one of the most impactful of all personal faults, but is under-criticised, or treated as a minor failing – even an amusing one. A single grumpy person can upset the whole balance and feel of a home, or an office, or indeed a church. When I mentioned this on X a while back, two or three people responded saying that one or both of their parents had been constantly bad-tempered and that it cast a pall of worry and stress over much of their childhood. I am currently reading a novel by Henry Williamson, and one of the key themes of the early books is how a tetchy, frustrated, overbearing father gradually alienates his children, and makes his wife exhausted and unhappy. This aspect of the drama is apparently based on Williamson’s own childhood.
