The idea that women can have it all is perhaps one of the biggest myths told to my generation. I am always edified, therefore, when people of prominence shatter this illusion with common sense.
Speaking to The Times earlier this month, Scottish politician Kate Forbes pulled no punches when it came to her assessment of the impossible balancing act of juggling a career with caring responsibilities. She told The Times that she plans to step back from politics so that she can devote more time to doing "a better job" of mothering:
“I do feel like motherhood is a great thing, and there’s been a lot of emphasis on proving that women can have it all, but what if you actually do want to be a mum, and you want to do your best work at mothering?”
She adds: “There’s a tendency in our society nowadays to say that’s a failure, that you’re giving up high office to do this thing that society views as small and insignificant. And I don’t feel that way. I feel like it’s a great thing, and I’m not doing a terribly good job of it. So I wanted to do a better job of it.”
That’s some fairly punchy stuff from the Deputy First Minister of Scotland. Forbes is to be admired for her principles and honesty – rare traits found in today’s political class. She is also to be admired for modelling what being a mother sometimes demands: forgoing the oh-so-esteemed career.
By the time most women become mothers, they will have spent their childhoods, teenage years and early twenties navigating the question of what they want to do for a job. Even once motherhood is on the horizon, people will ask about its implications for paid work, and when – not if – you plan to return to the office.
Maybe girls raised in very traditional homes vouch that they want to be a mother when they are older, but even that I somehow doubt. There are nearly always some intervening years between the end of formal education and childbearing, so it is only prudent to give some thought to work ambitions.
The issue arises when these career goals get prized above the natural vocation of the family.
Children need present parents, and particularly a present mother, in those early years – as plenty of studies support. There’s an undeniable truth to the cliché that children are only young once. And, from a Catholic perspective, you only get one chance to raise up these little souls as children of God.
For Catholics, the prioritisation of parenting over a career ought to be a no-brainer. After God, our loyalties are with our families, not with an employer. The Catechism implies that we cannot have it all: “Some forgo marriage to [...] give themselves more completely to a profession, or to serve other honourable ends” (CCC 2231).
The pursuit of a high-flying career often demands the neglect of familial duties for both men and women. It follows that the inverse must also be true.
Writing recently for the Catholic Herald, James Somerville-Meikle shared why he gave up politics and his familiar haunt of Westminster to pursue the calling of the priesthood. A woman trading in her career for motherhood might not result in an indelible mark on her soul as priesthood would for a man, but its importance should not be denigrated.
In Casti Connubii, Pope Pius XI wrote:
“Both husband and wife, however, receiving these children with joy and gratitude from the hand of God, will regard them as a talent committed to their charge by God, not only to be employed for their own advantage or for that of an earthly commonwealth, but to be restored to God with interest on the day of reckoning.”
Parents will be held accountable for the formation they encourage (or don't) in their children. That is no small task to be neglected for the sake of career clout.
Fulfilling the role of a mother well can be a demanding task, as Kate Forbes reminds us. But its reward rests both in this life and the next, if executed dutifully.
Forbes’ decision to step back from politics in order to do her best work at mothering reminds me of these beautiful lines from Middlemarch:
“The growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life."
May Kate Forbes' more hidden life of mothering bear more fruit than her public life in politics. And may it inspire others to prioritise likewise.
RELATED: Eduard Habsburg on Catholic tradition and how family can fix a broken world
Photo: A mother watches her child during 'El Salto del Colacho' (The Devil's Jump), a baby-jumping festival, in the village of Castrillo de Murcia near Burgos, Spain, 22 June 2025. 'El Colacho' is a traditional Spanish ritual dating back to 1620, in which men representing the Devil jump over babies born during the previous twelve months. The annual event is held to celebrate the feast of Corpus Christi. (Photo by CESAR MANSO/AFP via Getty Images.)
Portia Berry-Kilby can be followed on X at @portiabk.
.png)
.png)
.jpg)
.png)
